Wanting What You Cannot Have

Has there ever been anything in your life that you have wanted but you know that you cannot have at that moment, but even so, the sensation of wanting that thing will not go away? I’m in one of those moods today. I’m usually pretty good at being a realist but I simply cannot shake the feeling that there is something specific this morning that I want, but I know it’s not possible right this moment. What is that you ask? Mowing season. Call me crazy, but there truly is nothing else in this world that can relax me like mowing the grass. Go ahead and call me nuts, but it’s true. Just ask those close to me.

What made me want to mow the grass out of the blue this morning? Let me first precursor this with the fact that I absolutely love the snow. However, after not seeing the grass for nearly two weeks, I got up this morning, looked out the front door and you could see green everywhere. Well, more brownish, yellowish green than anything, but grass nevertheless. Walking to the paper box, I noticed the landscaping, how in need of refreshing it is. Feeding the dogs, I noticed the reseeding that will need to be done. After putting my coffee cup in the sink, I looked out over the backyard and noticed how bad the stray leaves that remain around the edge of the fence look.

I cannot wait for early March for then, the neighborhood will be filled with the sounds of mowers, trimmers and baseball. True, many may think I overdo it by mowing every 3-4 days in the summer, but I like keeping my yard in as good shape as possible, even with the huge flaw built in to the neighborhood – the old asphalt road that was left under the yards along Peach Drive when the houses were built. In a hot, dry summer, there is nothing we can do to keep a nice 8 foot patch of grass from dying in each of our front yards about half way down the street. That’s another thing that I want that I cannot have – to have that road removed. Sadly, I would have to dig up, and dig down deep in to the yard and remove the mess that was left.
So here I sit in January, dreaming of spring and things that I cannot have – yet :)

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